Harm Reduction

 Liberation is harm reduction. I'm siting with having caused harm. I caused because I said that Doja Cat wasn't Black and therefore couldn't help be colorist. I implied, but did not state overtly that her being nonBlack meant that she couldn't really be colorist as her behavior was more plainly racist rather than an internalized self-hatred from being Black. And to be honest, I don't know. Maybe it's a both and thing or maybe I'm completely wrong and because of my former access to whiteness and light skinned people leaves me totally colorist. I think it's both. Colorism is real. Adapting the white supremacist violence is real. And I'm only alive because folks adapted. Yet, as I listen to my therapy homework book. I find it highly problematic. It's fatphobic and anti-Black. I don't know how to function without coping mechanisms that I got from problematic sources. Or that I am not coping well with all this uncertainty and discomfort that I live with on the daily. Now I'm in my room hiding from the world because I feel bad about being a bad person even though that's my thing now.