Oh For Love of Self!

My life feels like I'm in a constant game of testing how much I can love myself under often difficult circumstances. Like right now, I'm job hunting. I just moved to Berkeley, California (completely on a whim) and am determined to make it work. Or really, determined to allow it to work. Anyway, the move was so sudden, unplanned and to be honest, I wasn't at all prepared to live in a city on the other side of the country. Yet, it's working out. I credit my ability to stay afloat to a complete, utter surrender to the Will of the Divine as It expresses through me. That's all I have. It keeps me afloat.

But what does that mean, really? Complete surrender? And to Whom am I surrendering? Great question.

For me, it's surrendering my limited sense of what's possible, safe, right, fun and sane in exchange for the sense of awe that comes from looking at life without attempting to understand, control or really know anything. It's exhilarating, terrifying and more fun than I've ever lived before.

How does that equate to self love? My constant affirming love and trust in the Will of God is the single most loving thing I can do for myself each moment of everyday. I love myself enough to let God run life without catchin